Dev Joke

Send me a PR if you know a good Dev Joke.

Thank you for adding a DevJoke. At text jokes at the TOP of the page, add your joke followed by ***. Add images at the BOTTOM with a reference to the image in the README file.

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Question - What is the most used language in programming?

Profanity.

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Question: Why don't keyboards sleep? Answer: Because they have two shifts.

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Q: Which famous rapper knows Assembly?

A: JZ.

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Q: Why do programmers keep pressing the F5 button?

A: Because it’s refreshing.

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Q: What do you call a computer that sings?

A: A dell.

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Q: Why are assembly programmers always soaking wet?

A: Because they work below C level.

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Q:Tell Something About You.(To A Programmer)

A:I'm a writer, but no one in my relatives can read what i write.

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Q: Why do programmers prefer dark mode?

A: Because light attracts bugs

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Q: Favourite actor of a JavaScript Developer is?

A: JSON Statham

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Q: Why do they call it hyper text?

A: Too much JAVA.

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Q: Who won the debate for the best name for loop variable?

A: i won.

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Q: How did the Coder CEO build his company headquarters?

A: By calling the Constructor();

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Q: What is Hardware?

A: The part of the computer which you can kick.

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Q: Who is a programmer?

A: A programmer is a machine who turns coffee into code.

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Question: Why NodeJs developer need Helmet?

Answer: To Secure Headers.

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Question: What do programmers inherit?

Technical Debt

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Doom file size 1993 2.39Mb, look how much hard drive space we saved you. JPEG image file size 2021 6.23MB, mobile first??? CALL OF DUTY UPDATE 2021 133.6GB, let them buy an external harddrive!

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And the bartender says, "Success, but you're not ready!"

So a JavaScript function walks into a bar.

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I took a programming class in high school I got a C++

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First rule of programming : If it works DON'T touch it.

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Married life of a developer

#wife {
    right: 100%;
    margin: 0;
}

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I would tell you a joke about programming...

But it only works on my machine

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What is the problem with git jokes?

Everyone has their own version!

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I have a joke about stackoverflow but you will say it's duplicated

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There are two types of People{

and those who { Question: How do you know if someone uses Linux?

Answer: Don't worry, they'll tell you.

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Best pickup line for a JS dev ?

• Be the promise to my callback ❤️.

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• A QA engineer walks into a bar. Orders a beer. Orders 0 beers. Orders 99999999999 beers. Orders a Iizard. Orders -1 beers. Orders a ueicbksjdhd.

• First real customer walks in and asks where the bathroom is. The bar bursts into flames, killing everyone.

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New programmer : It realy worked at first time.👍

Experienced programmer : It realy worked at first time??🤔

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📄 Documentation is like sex.

When it's good, it's very good. When it's bad, it's better than nothing. 🤷

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99 year old man dying

man: Oh! God, Save Me!!

God: Ok, JPG or JPEG?

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"Only my friends get to touch my private parts." -C++

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Wife: Honey! Can't open the jar.

*Me: Download and install Java.

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Sometimes when I'm writing Javascript I want to throw up my hands and say "this is bullshit!" but I can never remember what "this" refers to

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Why do programmers have bad digestion?

They only have semi-colons

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1st rule of programming:

If it works, do not touch it!

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Me: Why isn't this working? 🤔 Normal Language: You screwed up over here. 🧐 Me: Oh Thanks! 👍

Me: Why isn't this working? 🤔 JavaScript: SHHHHHH! 🤫

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Data scientists should be charged with animal trafficking and animal abuse because they import pandas and feed them to python.

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A logician's wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad. The wife asks impatiently "Is it a boy or a girl?" The logician replies "Yes."

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The programmer to his son: "Here, I brought you a new basketball." "Thank you, daddy, but where is the user's guide?"😜

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Once all programming languages went to a party. Guess who paid the bill? Of course, PHP. Beacause PHP has many $.

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A fool can write a code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that they also don't understand after few days.

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I've been using VIM since about 5 years because I never find out how to quit.

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If an EXE file says: "This program requires Windows XP or better..." Does that mean that it'll run linux..? :)

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To replace programmers with robots, clients will have to accurately describe what they want.

We are safe! 😏

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A guy ordered a pizza with cheese, olives, onion and red pepper. On getting it, the guy shouted - It is not baked.

Delivery guy - You only get what you ask for.

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If somebody refers me for a job 👨‍💻 will it be considered 'pass by reference' or 'pass by value'? 🤔😂

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Once C++ walks into a bar and sees C.

C is drunk, falling on the floor, spitting and swearing.

How classless! -says C++

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Are you a RESTful API? because you GET my attention, PUT some love, POST the cutest smile, and DELETE my bad day

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I used to know a joke about Java, but I run out of memory.

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Why do Front-End Developers eat lunch alone?

Because, they don't know how to join tables.

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I am declaring a war. var war;

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Knock knock

Unsynchronized block

Who's there?

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“Knock, knock.”

“Who’s there?”

very... long... pause...

“Java.”

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There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.

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walks UDP package into bar A.

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I would tell you a joke about UDP, but I don't know if you will get it.

Either way, I don't care.

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A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"

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A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep. A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn’t.

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Knock knock.

Whos there?

Broken state machine.

Broken state machine who?

Knock knock.

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#pisa-tower {
  font-style: italic;
}

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Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, “Are you ill?” The second byte replies, “No, just feeling a bit off.”

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1/3 of US bandwidth is used by Netflix.

the rest is used by rm -rf node_modules && npm install

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Debugging: Being the detective in a crime movie where you are also the murderer.

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Behind every good program is a frustrated programmer.

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Being a Programmer and watching someone HACK a computer on a TV show is like a nurse and watching someone in the movie take blood with a carrot.

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Programmer 1: We have a problem! Programmer 2: Let’s use RegEx! Programmer 1: Now we have two problems.

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My girlfriend dumped me after I named a class after her. She felt I treated her like an object.

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Trying to fix the problem I created when I tried to fix the problems I created when I tried to fix the problems I created when there was a problem

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A programmer’s wife asks: “Would you go to the shop and pick up a loaf of bread? And if they have eggs, get a dozen.”

The programmer returns home with 12 loaves of bread.

“They had eggs.”

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Q: What do you call a programmer from Finland?

A: Nerdic

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Question - How did the developer announce her engagement?

this.engaged = true

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Question - Why is the Javascript developer sad?

Because they do not Node how to Express themselves.

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Question - How do you comfort a JavaScript bug?

You console it.

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Question - Why couldn't the React component understand the joke?

It didn't get the context.

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Question - Why did the JavaScript developer leave?

Because she didn't get arrays

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Question - What is the object-oriented way to become wealthy?

Inheritance.

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Question - Why do functions always break up?

Because they have constant arguments.

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Question - Why do programmers get confused between Halloween and Christmas?

Because OCT 31 = DEC 25

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Question - What is programmer's favourite hangout place?

Foo Bar

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Question - What kind of doctors fixes broken websites?

A URLogist

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Question - Why does no one likes SQLrillex?

He keeps dropping the database

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Question - How did html get drunk?

It had too many <br/>

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Question: Why do C# and Java developers keep breaking their keyboards ?

Because they use a strongly typed language.

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Question - Why did the developer die in the shower?

He read the shampoo bottle instructions: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

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Question - Why do fish not like React?

Because it has Hooks 😂.

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Question - How long does a loop last?

For a while

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Question - What did the developer said to the repository?

FORK YOU!

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Question: What do you call the security outside of a samsung store?

Guardians of the Galaxy

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Question: Why does Python live on land?

Because it's above C-level

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Question - How are computers and air conditioners similar?

They are both useless when you open windows

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Question - Who is a programmer?

Answer: A person who fixed a problem that you don't know you have, in a way you don't understand.

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Question - Why do Java developers wear glasses?

Answer: Because they can't C# !

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Question - How do functions break up?

Answer: They stop calling each other.

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Question - 0 is false and 1 is true, right?

Answer: 1

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Question: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

Answer: None – It’s a hardware problem

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Question - Why do software engineers consistently stir up Halloween and Christmas?

Answer: Because Oct 31 = Dec 25

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Question - Have you heard of the band wi