Marvin

"The brain the size of a planet, and all I hear is bad ideas"

This is Marvin, a Slackbot that doesn't like any of your ideas. Inspired by this Hacker News Post: Things to say when you're losing a technical argument. The list has been slightly modified to make it more generic and a little less hostile.

Responses

All of his reponses are in index.js, but here's some examples:

• "Trying to build a team behind that technology would be a staffing nightmare."
• "That can't be generalized to a cross-platform build."
• "Unfortunately, the license would contaminate our product."
• "Our support infrastructure simply can't handle the volume that change would involve."
• "I had one of the interns try that approach for another project, and it was a disaster."
• "Yes, well, that's just not the way things work in the real world.",
• "I like your idea. Why don't you write up a white paper and we'll review it at the next staff meeting?"

Changes are welcome, submit a PR. He is not listed on the Slack App Directory, since OAuth is not implemented. Set up to run on Heroku, but you can fork and host wherever.